It's cool to pee your pants

No one tells you that after you have kids you will basically be incontinent to a certain degree for the rest of your life. Forget sneezing, running or jumping without peeing your pants. The situation is exacerbated by yet another pregnancy (didn't learn the first time around did you? Fucking idiot), extra large sodas, and any kind of jumpy, twisty motion.

Being a mom means you pretty much have to resign yourself to a life smelling of pee. At least when the kids are young you can blame the smell on them. Later on however, you may have difficulties and give up certain activities altogether.

Me, I don't give a shit. It's cool to pee your pants and I love softball.

I hate Aaron Neville

I never knew I'd hate Aaron Neville. I was never a big fan, but I couldn't imagine hating his high pitched whine. Until the Fisher Price video came into my house.

This stupid thing comes free with the little people toys and my daughter is addicted to it. So now I have the ridiculous "discovering whoever-the-fuck" song continuously playing on my tv and running through my head.

I really thought Aaron Neville was above this kind of selling out. I expected as much out of Fisher Price. Anyway, I hate you both.

Seriously, do you know how to park?

My car has mom written all over it. It's an SUV crossover that's not very clean, has 2 car seats in the back and even has my mom business magnet on the back. 

So, I have to ask myself, who, in their right mind, would pull their shiny white BMW cock-eyed in the spot next to me? 

This one's for you Mr. White BMW

Not only is it likely that I'm hauling around 2 kids, but my doors are plastic, so scuffs and dents are not my problem. However, you, Mr. White BMW, probably like the way your shiny car looks and therefore should fucking park accordingly. 

Now, I'm not saying you should do the sideways douchebag park, but you could at least put your car between the fucking lines!  It took every ounce of my effort not to fully open my door right into your shitty park job just out of spite. But, alas, I took the high road, tried not to cuss too loudly in front of the kids and started this blog. The world has you to thank for this, Mr. White BMW Asshole.